Fozzie, Fozzie, 9
by miss kermie
Summary: Fozzie has a love potion for Jaz, since she's busy. But what happens when Bunsen and Beaker switch Fozzie's love potion with Piggy's perfume? Yikes! Inspired by Fraggle Rock episode: We Love You Wembley
1. Love Perfume number 9

**Fozzie, Fozzie, #9**

**Chapter One- Love perfume #9**

It was any ordinary day at the Muppet theatre. Well, except for the fact that Jaz has been piled with work since Scooter was sent on vacation. She's been running back and forth, up and down, side to side, trying to deliver props, costumes, and scripts. (Oh my!) She hardly had any time for Fozzie by the end of the day.

"Kermit, I got all the scripts delivered, where's the set designs?" Jaz asked.

"Um, hold on, I think they're on my desk. But gimmie a second, I have to give Piggy her paycheck." Kermit said.

Jaz took an envolpe off Kermit's desk.

"I'll give it to her."

"Uh, that's not her paycheck, that her court summons."

"What'd she do now?"

"You don't wanna know..." Jaz exchanged envelopes, and went upstairs to deliver the paycheck. After delivering it, she ran into Fozzie on the way downstairs.

"Oh, um, Hi Jaz! Um, you wanna have dinner tonight?" Fozzie asked. "Nah, I have to see if Kermit has anymore work for me." With that, Jaz ran downstairs. Fozzie sighed. Would Jaz ever pay attention to him again?

Later, when it was time for everyone to go to bed, Jaz went into Fozzie's room.(Although, it's unconfirmed if it was out of sleepiness, or on purpose.) Fozzie looked up from the joke book he was reading and smiled. "Hi Jaz!"

Jaz waved pitifully and collapsed on the bed next to Fozzie. Fozzie pulled her closer as Jaz's eyelids began to get weaker.

Fozzie frowned, because he didn't even get to talk to her before she went to sleep. It was only 8:30. Perhaps if Jaz didn't overwork herself so much, she'd actually have time to just share one measly kiss with Fozzie. It made Fozzie blush just thinking about it. But Jaz was too generous in her work. How could he get her to relax?

...

At that moment, Fozzie got and idea...

The next day, Fozzie went down to Muppet Labs.

"Um, Bunsen can you do me a favor?" Fozzie asked.

Bunsen sat up straight and smiled.

"Of course! How can Muppet Labs be of assistance?"

Fozzie began to wring out his hat.

"Well, as you know, Jaz has been replacing Scooter while he's on vacation..."

"Yes?"

"And she's been a little too busy lately."

"Mm-Hm?"

"Well, is there a way that you can make Jaz... Pay a little more attention to me?" Fozzie blushed.

"Oh! What an opprotunity to test The latest invention from Muppet Labs! Love potion #9!"

"You've made nine love potions?"

"No, it contains nine chemicals!" Bunsen walked to the back of the lab, and fetched the love potion.

"Dr. Honeydew, why did you seal the love potion?" Fozzie asked. "Because whoever smells it, will fall in love with you. If you come back later, we'll have the love potion set so anyone who smells it, will fall in love with you, and nobody else."

"How long will that take?"

"Well, we also have to make Miss Piggy's perfume, so it will take a little while." Bunsen explained.

"Ok. Thanks Bunsen. See you later." Fozzie left Muppet Labs, as Beaker entered the room.

"Beaker, do me a favor, and put Fozzie's genetics in the bottle." Bunsen smiled.

"Mee Mee Mo Meep!"

Later, at the begining of the show, Jaz was at Kermit's desk rearranging it, while Fozzie was picking up love potion #9. As Fozzie made his way back upstairs and then he went straight to Jaz. "Hey Jaz." He smiled innocently.

"Hi." Scrambled Jaz, as she made a mess of things on Kermit's desk. "Um, check out this new air freshener I got!" Fozzie uncorked the bottle, hoping the scent would reach Jaz soon. Jaz sniffed the air. Nothing.

"Hm, that's a nice smell." Jaz smiled.

"Um... Yeah... I thought you'd like it." Fozzie said, a little dissapointed and confused. Out of nowhere, Kermit ran into the scene. "C'mon Jaz, we need to do our act together." Kermit ran onstage,as Jaz followed. Fozzie was still confused. As he was about to head back down to the lab, Miss Piggy came out of her dressing room, acting a bit strange. "Why, hello Fozzie!" Piggy smiled.

"Oh, hi Miss Piggy." Fozzie responded casually.

Piggy walked downstairs, and right up to Fozzie. It made Fozzie feel a bit uneasy.

"Um, yes Miss Piggy?"

"Oh, it's nothing Mon Capitaine..."

"M-Mon Capitaine?"

"Mm-Hmmm..."

Miss Piggy stroked his chest as Fozzie's eyes got wider and wider per stroke. "Um, excuse me for a second please."

Fozzie backed up a few steps, watching as Piggy eyed him flirtatiously. All of a sudden, Fozzie ran downstairs shouting,

"Bunseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"


	2. Fozzie's Piggy Predicament

**Chapter Two- Fozzie's Piggy Prediciment**

Once Fozzie made it down to Muppet Labs, he sealed the door with some of Bunsen's scrap metal.

"Uh, Mr. Fozzie, what seems to be the matter?" Bunsen asked. "Y-You made a mistake! Th-The love potion was in Piggy's perfume bottle, and the perfume was in _my _bottle!" Fozzie exclaimed. "Oh my... She didn't use it did she?" Bunsen asked. "She didn't use- OF COURSE SHE USED IT!" Fozzie yelled. "I need you to fix it!"

Bunsen thought for a moment.

"Well, the potion was not _meant _to be temporary, but I suppose you can wait for it to wear off..." Bunsen said.

"O-Ok... But if I come back, covered in kisses, it's on your conscience..." Fozzie unblocked the door, and headed back upstairs.

When Fozzie made it upstairs, Piggy was waiting for him.

"Where have vous been Mon Cherri? I missed vous!" Piggy giggled. Fozzie, completely horrified, and shocked, only blinked a few times.

"Well, did you miss _Moi_?" Piggy asked, batting her eyes.

"Um... Not really." Fozzie sighed.

Piggy began to tear up. "You didn't?"

"Um, no."

"WELL FINE! BE THAT WAY! Hmph!" Piggy started to tap her foot, with her back toward him.

"If it makes you feel better, when I was down there, I, uh... Talked about you." Fozzie said.

Piggy turned around. "Really?" Piggy beamed.

"Um, yeah."

Piggy hugged him. "Oh, Fozzie, you do love Moi..."

Fozzie, completely horrified at her response, just stays silent.

"How about we have dinner tonight?" Piggy asked.

"Um... No thank you." Fozzie declined.

"Great! See vous at seven!" Piggy giggled and walked upstairs to her dressing room.

"Oh boy..." Fozzie sighed.

At that moment, Jaz came by with the set designs.

"Hey Fozzie, have you seen Kermit?" Jaz asked.

"Um, I think he's down in the canteen." Fozzie chuckled nervously. "Ok. Thanks Fozzie." Jaz kissed him on the cheek, and headed down to the canteen.

Finally, affection Fozzie _wants_!

Later, Kermit was at his desk. This was Fozzie's chance to ask how to get rid of the pig.

"Um, hey Kermit?"

"Yes Fozzie?"

"Um, how do you get rid of Miss Piggy?" Fozzie asked.

"Take her to the zoo, and then go to the aligator exibit." Kermit chuckled. Fozzie shook his head.

"No, I mean, what turns her off?" Fozzied asked.

"Turns her off? Uh... Really hairy guys."

_Well, I'm ALL hair... _Fozzie thought.

"Why do you ask?" Kermit asked.

"Oh! Um... I have this friend, who has a hunch that Miss Piggy has a huge crush on him." Fozzie lied.

"Well tell him not to worry. Unless he's me, Piggy doesn't like him, like him." Kermit smiled.

"Um... Riiiiiiiight... Uh, Thank you Kermit." Fozzie scurried up to Miss Piggy's dressing room to try out plan B.

"Who is it?" Piggy called from inside.

"Uh, it's Fozzie." Fozzie gulped.

Piggy opened the door. "Come in dear!"

Fozzie walked inside, seeing how Miss Piggy has already replaced all photos of Kermit with his own image.

"What can I do por vous Mon Cherri?" Piggy asked, while applying lipstick. Fozzie gulped. "Uh... Well..."

"Yes?"

"I was thinking... You like me-"

"Love you. I love you."

"R-Right." Fozzie gulped. "Uh, I was thinking that maybe you should like someone better... Like... Kermit! What about Kermit? H-He's a nice guy! Right?" Fozzie chuckled.

"Kermit? Why would I like someone like him? I mean sure, he's kind, and completely humanitarian, but who needs that when you can have kind, humanitarian, handsome and funny?" Piggy giggled.

"Uh... Well... Kermit's funny!"

"Oh, Mon Cherri, don't talk me out of it..."

Piggy yanked him closer by his tie.

"We're meant for eachother." Piggy kissed his nose.

It caused Fozzie to be so alarmed, that he untied his tie, so he could run away from her. Fozzie ran out of Piggy's dressing room, and ran right into Jaz, knocking her down.

"Oh, sorry Jaz!" Fozzie helped her up.

"Hey, what happened to your tie?" Jaz asked.

"I... Um... I lost it." Fozzie lied.

"Oh. Anyway, I've been looking for you!"

"Y-You have?"

"Yeah! I'm free for the rest of the night, so I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight." Jaz smiled.

"Uh... Well I would... But... I'm already having dinner with Miss Piggy..." Fozzie chuckled. "I-In fact, I have to get dressed for that, so if, um, if you'll excuse me..." Fozzie ran into his dressing room, and slammed the door behind him.

"Miss Piggy...?" Jaz muttered as she entered her own dressing room. As she made it inside, she sat on her couch.

"Dinner with... Miss Piggy...?" Jaz muttered.

Well someone's jealous! xD


	3. Aye Vey

**Chapter Three- Aye Vey...**

It was almost time for dinner. And everybody's favorite bear was less than excited. He was beginning to wonder why he even dressed up to go to dinner with someone he doesn't want to be alone with. He flopped on his bed, waiting for the time he has to "pick up" Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy stared at the clock, hoping that seven would come quickly. She picked out the perfect dress, the perfect shade of make up, and her shiniest ring.

(Which she now calls "BF".) It was like she preparing for her highschool prom. All in all, she was pretty excited.

Jaz was still in the same position, sitting on the couch, pondering over the same thing.

Dinner with Miss Piggy.

_Why Piggy instead of me? _Jaz wondered.

Just then, Kermit happened to walk past her room.

"Hey Jaz, what's the matter?" He asked.

Jaz saw his face, and frowned. She looked away to avoid looking too sour. "I don't think you'll like it."

"What?" Kermit asked, hoping someone wasn't dead... Other than Dead Tom of course...

"Fozzie's going to go have dinner with Miss Piggy tonight.

Kermit chuckled. "Fozzie's having dinner with Miss Piggy? Well that's not really a big d-... Wait what?"

Jaz smiled a little. She always found it funny when Kermit had his "Hubba hubba wha-?" face on.

Kermit was hysterical. Really. He wasn't crying. Or laughing. He was just like... Wow. Shock. Seriously.

"I-It's probably for tabloids or something... right?" Kermit asked. Jaz shook her head.

"C'mon, you saw the end of The Muppets. 'Miss Piggy promises to stay out of the limelight.' She kept a promise, and if it was to you, she's definitely keeping it." Jaz nodded.

Kermit looked like he was going to cry. His girl, in the arms of his best friend. Terrible stuff.

Jaz felt the same way until she had an idea.

"Hey Kermit... What do you say we make 'em jealous?"

Kermit thought for a moment. Piggy was easily jealous. Just saying hi to another woman, would send her into a boiling rage. As for Fozzie, he's super sensitive, and is usually the first one to get his feelings hurt... But he doesn't get _jealous._

Does he?

Kermit finally nodded. "Ok. What's the plan?"

"Ok, so I have a singing gig at the restaurant they're going to. Rowlf's going too, so he can play the piano, and Annie Sue and Spamela are my backups. Each of us are allowed to bring one guest to get in for free. Since Fozzie said no, I'm bringing you, and if we let the others in on this, they'll let us bring people Piggy gets super jealous of when you talk to them. Like Miss Mousey or Jessica Simpson. When we get there, me, the girls, and Rowlf will preform, while you dance with someone to make Piggy jealous. Then when I'm done singing, I'll come offstage to dance with you, so we can make Fozzie jealous!"

Kermit stared at her, amazed at how everything was well thought out. "You've been planning this all day haven't you?"

Jaz blushed. "Nooooooooooooooo..."

Kermit shook his head.

"Er, Are you in this plan or not?" Jaz asked, a little irritated.

Kermit nodded.

At the restaurant, Kermit was on the dance floor with Miss Mousey. The other two were not there, so... Air pretty much took they're place. Jaz, Annie Sue, Spamela, and Rowlf took their places onstage. "Ready when you are Rowlf!" Jaz smiled. Rowlf nodded. He began to play the piano, and Jaz waited for her cue.

_I let it fall. My heart. And as it fell, you rose to claim it. _

_It was dark. And I was over. Until you kissed my lips, and saved me. My hands, they were strong. But my knees were far too weak, to stand in your arms, without fallin' to your feet. _

Fozzie looked up at who was singing, and was kinda scared. _I'm dead. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I died, I'm dead. _Fozzie thought. "Come on Mon Cherri let's dance!" Piggy grabbed Fozzie and started to dance.

_But there's a side to you, that I never knew, never knew._

_All they things you'd say, they were never true, never true_

_And the games you played, you would always, win always win..._

_But I set fire, to the rain, watched it burn, as I touched your face. Well it burned and I cried 'cause I heard it screamin' out your name. Your name..._

_While laying, with you, I could stay there, close my eyes. You and me, forever, You and me together nothing gets better._

When Kermit and Miss Mousey started to dance, they immediately started to dance closer to Piggy and Fozzie. All Kermit got was a small, friendly wave from Miss Piggy. As for Fozzie, he tried to hide his face.

_'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew._

_All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true._

_And the games you played, you would always win, always win..._

_But I set fire, to the rain, watched it burn, as I touched your face. Well it burned and I cried 'cause I heard it screamin' out your name. Your name..._

_I set fire, to the rain, and I burst, into the flames. Well it fell, somethin' died, 'cause I knew that, that was the last time. The last time..._

Annie Sue and Spamela finally joined in to vocalize in the background.

_Sometimes I wake up by the door, and now that you've gone, must be waitin' for ya. even now when we're already over, I can't help myself from lookin' for ya._

_I set fire, to the rain, watched it burn, as I touched your face. Well it burned and I cried 'cause I heard it screamin' out your name. Your name..._

_I set fire, to the rain, and I burst, into the flames. Well it fell, somethin' died, 'cause I knew that, that was the last time. The last time, oh, oh no, let it burn, oh. Let it burn! Let it burn..._

Rowlf played a different tune on the piano, as Jaz, Annie Sue, and Spamela walked offstage.

"Great job you guys." Kermit said.

"Thanks."

"Thank you sir!"

"Thanks I guess."

"Great job ticklin' the ivories Rowlf!" Kermit called out.

Rowlf smiled and nodded, still playing the piano.

"Now that that's out the way, let's dance Kermit!" Jaz pulled Miss Mousey away, and then danced with Kermit. They made their way to Piggy and Fozzie. Guess who hid their face again? Yup, you guessed it! Fozzie! He was so frightened that Jaz would see him way to close to Miss Piggy than he should be. He was clearly unaware that Jaz knew he was there already. Kermit twirled Jaz,hoping that it would make Piggy jealous, as well as Fozzie, but nothing happened. Fozzie was too occupied with hiding his face in Piggy's shoulder, while Piggy was uninterested in Kermit anyway. Jaz got angrier by the minute. Surprisingly, she hasn't bursted yet... Or at least until this next thing that's gonna happen...

Miss Piggy wrapped his arms around Fozzie even tighter. It made Fozzie look up from her shoulder. "H-Hey, let go!" He squealed. (And since Piggy's there, no pig joke intended.)

"Relax Mon Capitaine..." Piggy whispered.

Fozzie was now shaking, due to uncertainty of Piggy's next action. Piggy smiled. She knew exactly what she was going to do next, but she didn't know Kermit and Jaz weren't going to like it. Piggy pulled back to look at Fozzie's face.

Fozzie, not being able to take a hint, tilts his head. "What?"

Piggy only smiled. "Pucker up Mon Cherri!" Piggy pulled him into a kiss, that Fozzie seriously didn't see coming.

NOW Jaz lost it.

Jaz threw Kermit on the ground.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jaz yelled.

"Kissing Mon capitaine, of course." Piggy said innocently.

"Your captain? YOUR CAPTAIN? MY CAPTAIN! Fozzie, say something!" Jaz yelled.

Fozzie remained silent. He wringed his hat in his hands, as usual. He observed how mad Jaz was, and how sad Kermit was, and how everyone was watching, and how Piggy was happy he wasn't saying anything. Wait... Uh oh...

"See? He doesn't like you! He obviously _loves _Moi, and thinks that _vous _are a complete lunatic. So why don't _vous_ go 'Set fire to the rain', somewhere else?" Piggy had her hands on her hips, thinking she proved her point.

"I'm about to sing 'Mama said knock you out'!" Jaz was walked up to her, ready to swing, but Fozzie hopped in between them. Jaz was so mad, she started talking through her teeth. You'd be amazed how mad she actually was.

"Fozzie, get out of my way, before I knock YOU out."

Can't argue with that, Fozzie moved.

Jaz punched Piggy right in the jaw. And if you know anything about Piggy, she won't go down without a fight.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-Yaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Piggy did her good ol' karate chop. Now it was time to lay the smacketh down. Jaz started to pull her hair. "Ow ow ow ow! Let go!" Piggy begged. Jaz wasn't going to stop. She was determined to pull it out. Piggy saw a piece of her hair fly within her reach, and she pulled it.

Nothing happened.

"Guess what? I'm _**tenderheaded!**_" Jaz yelled.

As Jaz was about to make a swift pull to Piggy's hair, the security guards threw the both of them outside.

As Piggy tried to crawl away, Jaz grabbed her, climbed on top of her, and began to try to choke her out.

(She's violent when she wants to be... xD)

Luckily, before Piggy was like, dead, the police came in, and took Jaz away.

(C'mon, you really think I'd murder my rolemodel? xD)

Fozzie and Kermit rushed outside, as uh... Jaz told Piggy that she was "#1".

"Well... Uh... That was nice..." Fozzie said sarcastically.

"Miss Piggy, are you alright?" Kermit asked.

Piggy nodded as she tried to catch her breath.

"I seriously need to brush my hair, and redo my makeup. Come on Fozzie." Piggy took Fozzie by the hand, and began to walk home. Kermit followed, feeling sadder than a chicken lookin' at his fried brother.

What?

Seriously, that's how he felt.

...

Ok, _now_ put me in a straight jacket.


	4. Pig dates Frog

**Chapter Four- Pig dates frog**

Jaz is in prison now. She's been labeled as a level five threat because she was successfully choking Miss Piggy. And nobody could do that. Today, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, and Kermit were visiting her.

"Miss Piggy, can you please let go of my hand? You're squeezing it." Fozzie wimpered.

Miss Piggy responded by squeezing tighter and kissing him on the cheek. Kermit thought of it as a way to get back at him for all those time he rejected her.

"Uh, hey, here comes Jaz you guys." Said Kermit, hoping that the subject would change.

And the subject did change, because Jaz changed as well. She took her prison outfit, and turned it fashionably bad!

Instead of a headband, she wore a hat. Instead of a pink shirt underneath her vest, she wore a purple one. Instead of sneakers, she wore boots. And she had a braclet... Well... NOW it is. Before, it was a handcuff. She also appeared to have a cigarette in her mouth.

"J-Jaz?"

"No, I'm Santa Clause." Jaz said sarcastically.

Jaz flopped into the chair she was supposed to sit in.

"Are you smoking?" Fozzie asked, clearly concerned.

"It's candy you idiot, you know I don't smoke." Said Jaz.

Fozzie looked at her again. What happened to her? Sure, he knew that she could go a bit overboard when she was upset, but she's never changed her entire attitude.

"Hey Jaz, when are you getting out of here?" Kermit asked.

"If Piggy's not pressin' charges, I can get out tomorrow. If she does press charges, I'm in here for like, a year." Jaz explained. Fozzie turned to Piggy.

"Miss Piggy, please don't press charges! PLEASE!" Fozzie begged. Miss Piggy felt a certain kind of way about that. Why would Fozzie beg for the freedom of another woman, but he can't do anything nice for her? "No, I'm pressing charges."

Fozzie frowned. No winning this one... Unless...

"Gee Miss Piggy, if you did this for me, I'd sure appriciate you a LOT more. And probably... *Gulp* Love you a lot more..." Fozzie could charm her out of anything in her current state apparently. "Oh Fozzie, I'm sorry. I won't press charges. Just por vous!" Miss Piggy kissed Fozzie's nose, and to everyone's surprise, including his own, he blushed.

"Alright Jaz, I won't press charges. But thank Fozzie for that." Piggy scoffed.

Jaz forced out a smile. "Thanks Fozzie."

Fozzie smiled too, that is until Piggy got jealous, and almost squeezed the life out his hand.

"Piggy, please let go. Please. Really. It hurts. A lot." Fozzie begged. "What are you talking about Mon Cherri?" Piggy then squeezed harder, causing Fozzie to fall down.

"I think I'll nap now." Fozzie sighed. Piggy finally released his hand, and it got a tiny, little, laugh out of Kermit. Piggy couldn't help but smile at him. Fozzie then got up off the ground, and dusted himself off.

"Uh... Can we go now?" Kermit whined. The sight of Piggy getting jealous about Fozzie made him sick.

"Sure Kermit, as soon I regain blood flow to my thumbs..." Fozzie whined. Jaz giggled a bit, but covered it up with a cough. "Let's go home..." Kermit grinned.

At home, Fozzie was waiting for Jaz to come back.

However, he didn't appear to have such a happy additude about it. Since she was worried, Piggy came to check on him. "Fozzie? Are you alright?" Piggy asked, sitting on the couch next to him. She rubbed his back, which creeped him out a little, but it was actually what he needed.

"Piggy... She had a clean record... And I ruined it... I ruined US... And I ruined my best friend..." Fozzie sighed.

Piggy didn't make anything of it, but she nodded, and kept comforting her bear... Uh... Well what she thinks is her bear.

"Sweetie, maybe vous should just say you're sorry. Like... If you ruined my favorite dress. I'd be very upset with vous. But if you said you were sorry, I feel a bit better... And I'd be cooled down enough to forgive you." Piggy explained.

Fozzie thought for a moment.

Silence filled the room.

Well, silence, sadness, understanding, and shame filled it.

But it was silent for about three minutes until Fozzie decided to finally come out his mouth and say something.

"You're right." He said finally. "I should apologize. And explain everything... Thank you Miss Piggy." Fozzie grinned.

Piggy giggled. "Oh, no problem Mon Cher!"

Just as Piggy was about to walk off, Fozzie stopped her.

"Um, Piggy, can you do me a favor, please?" Fozzie asked.

"Yes?"

"Can you... Can you go to dinner with Kermit?"

Piggy paused, then asked why.

"For me?" Fozzie begged.

"Alright fine. Tell 'em to be at my door by eight." Piggy then marched upstairs to get ready.

Fozzie smiled. He had it all planned. With her occupied with Kermit, he had all the time he needed to tell Jaz the truth.

But first, he had to tell Kermit he was going to have dinner with Miss Piggy.

Fozzie found the amphibian in his room, eating gnat pudding. "Uh Kermit? Can I talk to you?" Fozzie asked.

Kermit looked up at his friend, and slowly nodded.

"Well, Miss Piggy would like to have dinner with you tonight." Fozzie explained, half way lying.

Kermit almost smiled.

"What time?"

"She wants you at her door by eight."

"I'll be there. Just let me finish my pudding."

Fozzie nodded and walked out the room. As soon as he made to the hall, he cheered.

All he had to do now was wait for Jaz.

Any moment now.

She's coming through the door...

Wait, nope.

This would take a while...

TWO HOURS LATER

Fozzie wasn't sure she was even coming at this point. It was already five minutes to eight. He got off the couch, and went outside. "Hey stranger."

Fozzie looked around, and finally saw Jaz, who was sitting on a tree stump in the yard.

"Jaz, what are you doing out here?!" Fozzie asked.

Jaz walked up to him with a firm look, that scared the jokes outta Fozzie.

"I wanna know the truth."

"About what?" Fozzie asked.

"You and Miss Piggy. I know you don't like her back. Anyone with eyes could see it. What's going on?" Jaz asked.

Fozzie attempted to say something, but paused.

"Let's wait til' Miss Piggy leaves. Then we'll head down to the lab, so I can tell you what's going on. Ok?"

Jaz raised an eyebrow, but she eventually nodded, and followed him into the house. They snuck down to the lab, and heard Piggy and Kermit walk out the house, and drive away in the limo.

"Ok... They're gone... So... I wanted to tell you that I screwed up." Fozzie chuckled.

Jaz nodded. Expecting something wierd. She lived with Muppets you know.

"See, I was seeing how busy you were, covering for Scooter... And how there was no time for me by the end of the day... So I... Asked Dr. Honeydew to make something that would make you like me more." Fozzie explained.

Jaz nodded, half-way blushing. "And then what happened?"

"Well, unfortunately, they also had to make Piggy's perfume... Heh..." Fozzie blushed as well. It was a combination of blushes actually. A blush for spilling his gutts. A blush for doing something stupid... And a blush for the perfume Jaz was wearing.

"Aw... Fozzie... I don't know if I should kill you or kiss you..." Jaz said, in the softest was possible.

"The second one would be nice..." Fozzie mumbled.

Jaz only smiled. "Shut up and give me a hug."

Fozzie did as instructed, and looked around for Bunsen Honeydew.

Meanwhile, Kermit and Miss Piggy were out to dinner. It felt wierd. She was sorta going out with her guy's best friend. Yuck.

And it was Kermit. Since her memories are backwards at the moment, Kermit was like... How she used to see Fozzie.

A clutz. A clutz who's her friend.

It got more awkward, everytime Kermit looked down.

"So... Kermit... How are things...?" Piggy tried desperately to keep a casual conversation... Let's see how that works out.

"Uh, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. A-And you Miss Piggy?"

He didn't like adding Miss to her name. It was wierd to him.

"I'm fine Kermit... Uhhh... Soooo... Read any good books lately?" Piggy asked, for the same reason as before.

Kermit shook his head.

Which, thinking about it, he really should catch up on his reading. But anyway...

"Uh, look Piggy... This is really wierd for me..."

"Yeah, for Moi as well."

"See, Fozzie just said you wanted to have dinner with me so-"

"I never said that."

"What?"

"Fozzie asked me to have dinner with you!"

"What?"

"I'm gonna kill that bear..." Piggy growled.

"I'm with you on that... May I escort you back home?" Kermit asked, holding out his arm.

Piggy smiled, and took his arm, playing along.

"I'd be delighted if you would."

Fozzie's in deep water!


	5. Fozzie, Fozzie, Number 9

**Chapter Five- Fozzie, Fozzie, #9**

Kermit was almost home, along with his companion, Miss Piggy, who was especially mad.

"Kermit, drive faster!" Piggy yelled.

Kermit did exactly what she commanded. He stepped on it. They'd be home in no time.

Jaz and Fozzie were still looking for Dr. Honeydew until he finally appeared.

"Greetings. How may Muppet Labs help you today?" Bunsen asked. Jaz raised an eyebrow, considering he already knew based on what Fozzie told her.

"Bunsen, we need an antidote for this love potion mess!" Jaz huffed. Bunsen nodded, and went over to a cabinet, labeled "Antidotes". It was quite a dusty cabinet. No wonder Beaker always had side effects.

"We've been working on this, but we need a sample of the potion." Bunsen explained.

Fozzie nodded, went to get the perfume with the potion, and came back. "This is the perfume that the potion got mixed up in." Fozzie told Jaz.

Just as Fozzie was about to pour a little bit of the perfume in the antidote, Piggy, and Kermit came in.

"FOZZIE BEAR! YOU'D BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

Fozzie gulped at her deep voice.

He liked the soft one a lot better.

Sorta like Kermit.

"Uhhh, explain what Miss Piggy?" Fozzie asked.

Piggy squinted. Then she observed around her. Jaz, Fozzie...

Uh oh.

"I see! I see EXACTLY why you sent me to dinner with him!" Piggy yelled, almost shaking the ceiling.

Literally.

"Wh-Why is that?"

"So you can spend time with Jaz! Instead of Moi!"

"Uhhhhh..."

"Kermit, stand back, this is gonna get ugly!"

Fozzie got so scared by that last comment, that he dropped Piggy's perfume, and the bottle split into a million pieces, over the vent! That means the scent of the perfume would be spead all over the house.

Wait a minute... Uh oh...

"Well, that's not good..."

The scent filled the lab, and Kermit, Bunsen, and Piggy, fell deeply in love with him! As for Piggy, even more than before!

"H-Hey! Let go of me!"

Everyone started giving Fozzie hugs and kisses, which was awkward, considering two of them were guys.

Fozzie thought that it couldn't get any worse until he heard a lot of footsteps coming down to the lab. It was all of the Muppets! They were chanting his name, pushing through eachother, trying to give Fozzzie affection.

"Yuck! Get away from me!" Fozzie yelled.

Even Statler and Waldorf were in love with him!

Fozzie tried to break free, but hey, he was fighting off, Piggy, Sweetums, and Bobo, all at once. What are his chances?

The crowd, still chanting, broke out in song!

_Fozzie, Fozzie, #9, I love ya bear, wish you were mine! Will you be my valentine? Fozzie, Fozzie, #9!_

They kept chanting that, and chanting that, and chanting that! Fozzie thought it was over. IT WAS GAME OVER!

...

As Jaz would say. :)

Well, it WAS game over, until Jaz got his attention, and lured him into the lab closet.

"Jaz, how come you weren't affected?" Fozzie asked.

"I have no idea. But guess what? I found this extra bottle of the potion, and I snagged the antidote! So now all I have to do, is drop some in, and pour the antidote into the vent!" Jaz smiled widely, which only made Fozzie happier.

As Jaz poured some potion into the antidote, there was banging on the door. The Muppets appeared to be breaking the door down.

"Jaz, hurry!" Fozzie yelled.

"Ok, ok, now I have to pour it in the vent!"

Note: Closets usually do NOT have ventilation.

"THERE'S NO VENT!" They yelled simultaniously.

"Fozzie, I'm so sorry. This is the end... For you anyway..." Jaz chuckled.

"Jaz, before I die, I have to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"I used your toothbrush to get rid of Sweetum's toe jam!"

"... You did what now?"

The Muppets finally busted down the door, and reached for the bear.

"You won't be needing this!" Bunsen Honeydew snatched the antidote, and lauched it into the lab.

"Well... So much for the antidote." Jaz chuckled.

Yes, so much for it...

Well that's what she didn't NEED to say.

As if by magic, the vile containing the antidote shattered over the vent. Now, any Muppet that was in love with Fozzie Bear, due to the potion, would... Not be. To put it simply.

A few Muppets in the front of the mob, snapped out of it while kissing Fozzie.

Embarrassment.

_Beaker's gonna kill me... _Bunsen thought.

"Ew! Yucka!" Miss Piggy started running out of the Lab closet.

(And running to the nearest bathroom to vomit.)

So, all of the Muppets, left the lab, except for the ones that were supposed to be there.

"I'm glad that's FINALLY over." Fozzie sighed.

Jaz giggled. It was great to have Fozzie all to herself again.

"C'mon. Let's go have dinner." Jaz took Fozzie's hand, and led him out the house.

Meanwhile, Kermit was explaining to Miss Piggy what happened.

"...So, I liked Fozzie?" Piggy asked.

Kermit nodded, laughing at her disbelief, and disgust... And slight indigestion. Then he couldn't help but hug her.

Everything was back to normal...


	6. Epilouge

**Epilouge- And that's were #9 came from...**

After very careful consideration, Kermit and the gang decided to get rid of the love potion #9 for good, so that nothing like that ever happens ever again.

Ever.

So Kermit put Bunsen in charge of throwing it away.

And he put Beaker in charge, while he worked on another contraption.

So Beaker went a few blocks down, to see if there was a place he could discard the potion.

On the way, he came across this small creature.

He said that he knew a trash heap that he could throw it in, and Beaker left the potion to him.

At the trash heap...

"Hey Marjory! Look what a Fraggle just dumped in!" Philo handed the living heap the potion.

"Love potion #9..." The trash heap read. "Hmmm..."

Makes ya think, don't it?

THE END!


End file.
